Ash-hadu an la ilaha il-la Al-lah. Ash-hadu anna Mohammadan Rasul Al-lah.
brothers and sisters, My conversion to Islam...well...it's fresh but I don't know how to start.
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Well, I was agnostic before converting, I thought that the human being wasn't able to know if God existed or not (thank God I was never an atheist) so I tried to live my life as happy as possible but always tried to think about our origins, who are we, if we had free will, if the world exists, blah blah blah. My father is a non practicing Christian (I think that's how people without religion call it) or was Christian and now is not convinced. My mother doesn't know what she is, one of my brothers doesn't even care, like we cant know so let us live life, and the other is kind of skeptic, something I don't share at all because its like being blind and deaf because you cant rely on anything, but on the other side has some ?friendship? with anarchy I think and dresses like one lol. My parents tried to take me to Christian classes but I never wanted to go, I asked for proofs and they could never answer them properly.
The thing is that some months ago I was looking for information about the assassins that were some Arabs that fought against the Templars, I had read some books about Templars and what I knew about assassins was interesting and mysterious, I knew that they drugged the new members and the next they they would tell them that if they do what they ordered (could be killing Templars) they would have what they saw in that "?dream?, could be women, money, whatever, even flying hahaha. And there are some theories (or facts) that show that the new Templars exist nowadays, some say they are the Masons. But as there isn't much information about assassins I want to know. So I fell in an Islamic chat, mostly visited by shias. And was shocked at it lol.
I thought Muslims were Arabs that prayed all day long in the streets to some kind of god, didn't even know if they had one or many. I also thought they abused women, made them cover themselves totally and had as many as they wanted like if they were prisoners or the women were brainwashed. I thought it was culture. I never thought Muslims would be on internet forums, but of course, I knew who Bin Laden was. I knew about the Twin Towers, Afghanistan war, and all what the media shows us.
So once that I was there I thought: let us see what these guys think or believe.
At first I thought it was a bit crazy but more convincing than Christians. And began asking about everything, hijab, marriage, god, free will, etc. It took sometime to accept them, but with time they all began to sound coherent to me. So I was asking a lot and needed to know how their everyday life, what did they do, if they were so different to me or not. And a very kind sister was willing to help, so we started chatting so we didn't use the forum for chat. I must thank her and will continue through all my life , I hope every question she answered me, every minute she taught me about Islam, how Muslims live, the difference in culture and Islam, and everything she did for me is multiplied in judgment, .
So I read the Quran, but changed some words in my head, whenever it said paradise I would take it as clean conscience and where it said hell as repent, and it all made sense! I did that in every Hadith, answers from Muslims or Quran.
So I began understanding that Islam is the best way of life, and there are things that we have to sacrifice to have better ones. For example if we accept that its better to marry a virgin because I wouldn't feel like I'm being compared, wouldn't feel she is ?used?, get to think too much about her ex partners, and many other problems, then we shouldn't try to have premarital relations, it sounds so obvious but sometimes we ask for others what we don't do ourselves. Anyway, I wouldn't have to change too much if I converted to Islam...but still I wasn't totally sure that God existed. But one day thinking on my bed I came to realize that there has to be a God, at that time I think I didn't have much proofs, but it was the only solution for someone that cares for himself, I had to have a soul, I couldn't be some nerves, meat and electronic and chemical impulses....I refused to be that! I refuse to have no responsibility of my actions, to act upon cause and consequence, there had to be something more.
And the answer came from Allah.
So the next day I asked to this wonderful sister what did I had to do to be a Muslim, she linked me to a site and I said the shahada. However some wise brothers and sisters advised me not to start praying five times a day because I would leave the religion in less than a month if I pushed myself too hard.
After that I began looking for more and more information, (I think I'm still obsessed reading on the net and two or three books at the same time lol), by the way I liked some of harun yahya ( I think that's how its written) flashes and articles, I liked the one about refuting Darwinism, which is taught in schools like if it were a fact.
I searched for some Islamic centre in my country....and there is one! Which is called the Egyptian Centre of Islamic Culture, part of the Egyptian embassy, where I met like 20 brothers that go there on Fridays and I think there are like 5 sisters. I'm the youngest of all, and the majority are much older, so I keep coming online to chat with Muslims haha.
I don't know what else to say...so I will comment on some thoughts or things I learned this months. One, Islam is the true and most beautiful religion, and Muslims are very considerate and are always willing to help, some hear the word revert and they are ready to help and answer their questions.
Second, in some countries a lot of people ?follow? Islam because of tradition, like Christianity in most of countries, their parents were of this religion so they follow the same, while they are not convinced, I am lucky to be a revert, because I'm totally sure and convinced about Islam (I'm not saying every born Muslim isn't!) Others mix a little bit of Islam with a little bit of culture, like they can pray and pay zakat, but they wont let their daughters marry someone from another country, and some even force them to marry....that's not Islam. Some even think that Arabs are the true Muslims and Muslims from America or Europe are fake Muslims.
Third, I would also like to mention the physical and sexual abuse of women. I don't know if too many do it, but from the people I've heard...I hate the fact that they feel scared that they don't talk or feel like they wont be treated as they should, we should give them reassurance, punish the abusers and educate the Muslims. If people talked about it I wouldn't mention it here but as the victims I know (more than ten to say a number) never talked to their families or sometimes did but no one took measures or told the police, it gives me the idea that we are in a cultural problem, Islam doesn't teach deal with everything and keep quiet, it says accept what Allah has prepared for you and try to help ,change the bad situations and fight the abusers.
Fourth, and I haven't discussed this with no one yet...but I take ablution as a mental purification and not physical. Physical for people that are in dirty environments, but why then we have to make ablution even if we just showered? I think its to clean our mind, so we don't take praying as any act, but to have in mind that we are going to talk to Allah. don't know what you think?
Fifth. Before converting I thought that praying 5 times would be like delivering a baby! So many times! But when I got used to and strengthened my iman its much more simple, and anyway, the time we use to pray we would have used it on superficial things that wouldn't matter if we did them or not.
Seventh. I would like to ask some Muslims to stop using pictures like someone with machine guns prepared to kill, I know we should defend ourselves and some Muslims are being abused and killed all the time. But that image brings more hate towards our religion. Why don't you put a heart instead of a machine gun? Love is more related to Islam than war. Putting a heart wont stop you from defending your brothers and sisters. But it wont freak out people and make them believe we like to fight.