Children's Duties toward Parents*

ISLAM has laid great stress on the rights of parents and the duties of
children. To be obedient to parents and to show kindness to them has been
enjoined in the Holy Qur'an in such a manner that it appears that among
human deeds, to obey parents and treat them with respect and kindness is
next only to Divine worship.

The Holy Qur'an says: "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but
Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents." *(17;23)*

According to a Hadith (saying of Prophet Muhammad - peace be upon him), the
parents of a person constitute his Heaven or Hell. This implies that if a
person obeys his parents and attends to their needs and comforts and keeps
them happy, he will enter into Paradise. On the other hand, if he is rude
and disobedient to them and offends them by ignoring their feelings or by
causing them grief in any other way, his place shall be in Hell.

Anyone who seeks to please Allah should earn the good pleasure of his
parents. To keep the parents well-pleased is essential since their anger and
displeasure will lead to Allah's anger and displeasure.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) has said: "In the good pleasure of the
father lies the good pleasure of the Creator and in his displeasure lies the
displeasure of the Creator."

Here the mother has not been mentioned but, according to many other Ahadith,
the rights of the mother with regard to service and kind treatment is even
higher than that of the father. Therefore, her pleasure or displeasure will
carry an equal significance.

The time that the parents need to be looked after most carefully is in their
old age, and to serve them devotedly in that state is most pleasing to Allah
and it is an easy way to attain Paradise.

Abu Hurairah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "May he be
disgraced, may he be disgraced, may he be disgraced." "Who?" the Companions
asked. "The person whose parents, or anyone of them, attain old age during
his life-time and he does not enter Paradise (by being kind-hearted and
dutiful to them)!"

Therefore, anyone who gets an opportunity to serve his parents in their old
age and does not avail himself of this reward (to attain Paradise),
undoubtedly, he is a most wretched person.

Abu Hurairah narrates that a person asked the Noble Prophet (peace be upon
him): "Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind
treatment?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, "Your mother, and again
your mother, and once again your mother. After her, is the claim of your
father, then that of your near relations, and then of the relations next to
them."

This shows that where care and kind treatment are concerned, the claim of
the mother is greater than that of the father.

It appears to be the same in the Holy Qur'an too. In many instances, the
pain and the suffering which the mother has to bear during pregnancy, at
childbirth, and in the bringing up of the children, has been mentioned along
with the importance of showing kindness to parents.

In one Hadith the Prophet (peace be upon him) has clearly stated that a
person's Paradise lies at his mother's feet. By serving her well and being
obedient to her, one can attain Paradise.

In some other Ahadeeth, the Prophet (peace be upon him) explained that serving
the mother, maternal aunt and maternal grandmother are among the acts by
virtue of whose merit even the repentance of a great sinner and evil-doer is
accepted and he is forgiven.

If one's parents are polytheists and they want one to follow their faith,
one should refuse to do so but should continue to be kind and respectful to
them.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) is reported to have said: "Obey your parents
and treat them with kindness, your children will be kind and obedient to
you."

Asma Bint Abu Bakr relates that her mother had come to Madinah, from Makkah,
to meet her. Her mother followed the Pagan customs and beliefs, so Asma
enquired of the Prophet (peace be upon him) as to how she was to treat her -
whether she should have nothing to do with her, as she was a Pagan, or treat
her like a daughter should, and show kindness to her. Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) told her to be kind and considerate and to deal with her
as was a mother's due from a daughter.

*The rights of parents do not come to an end with their death. In fact, some
of their rights take effect even after their death, and it is a religious
obligation of the children to fulfill them. *

Obeying one's parents and treating them with respect and affection is great
virtue and it expiates one's sins. Similarly, to pray Allah to have mercy on
them after their death is an act which brings comfort to them in their
graves and serves to atone for one's sins.

After the death of one's parents one's duties among others should be to pray
for their forgiveness and treat their relatives and friends with due
respect.

In the Holy Qur'an, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of
their parents as shown in the verse "And say, 'My Lord. Have mercy on both
of them, as they cared for me when I was little'."

The real reward for serving the parents, with great care, is Paradise and
the pleasure of Allah. But the Almighty bestows a special favor, in this
world too, on the believer who discharges obligations towards one's parents'
with devotion. Jabir reports that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Allah
prolongs the life of a person who obeys his parents and serves them
devotedly."

Just as the Prophet (peace be upon him) declared that serving one's parents
well is an act of great virtue, he condemned showing of disobedience to
them, or harming them, as a most serious and detestable sin.

When asked about the major sins, the Prophet (peace be upon him) replied,
"To associate anyone with Allah, to disobey parents, to kill unlawfully and
to give false evidence."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) has said, "To abuse one's parents is also a
major sin." He was asked: "Can anyone abuse his parents?" "Yes," the Prophet
(peace be upon him) replied, "If a person abused someone else's parents and
that person, in retaliation, abused his parents, then it is as though he
himself had abused his parents."

One can conclude from this what an important place respect for parents
occupies in the moral and social teachings of Islam, and how careful one
should be about it.

Compiled from various sources.

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